The Power of Tiny Gestures

Did you know that individuals send 40 – 150 micro messages in a 10-minute conversation or 2,000 – 4,000 verbal and non-verbal micro messages daily?

I find that mind-blowing!

In fact, according to body language researcher, Albert Mehrabian, communication is actually 55% nonverbal, 38% vocal, and 7% words.

That’s quite something!

“We’ve been told all our lives that words are so important, but when compared to micro-messages, they pale in comparison”

(Stephen Young)

What are Micro-Behaviours

Have you ever noticed the ripple effect a genuine smile can have on your day?

Or how a raised eyebrow or whispered ‘tut’ can make you feel anxious and on edge for the rest of the week?

Micro-behaviours are small, subtle moments that shape our interactions, and they contribute heavily to our workplace culture.

While they may seem insignificant on their own, their cumulative impact can be profound.

They can, in fact, collectively make (or break) working relationships, team dynamics and your employee’s sense of belonging.

Why?

Because these seemingly small moments are (usually) made up of unconscious gestures, postures, and words, that significantly impact how included and valued (or not) we feel.

Micro-Inclusions vs Micro-Aggressions

Mico-inclusions and aggressions play contrasting roles within our interactions.

Micro-inclusions are intentional positive ‘sprinkles’ that make us feel like we belong and are valued – like pronouncing someone’s name right, using someone’s pronouns correctly, and not making assumptions based on what someone looks like.

They make us feel appreciated and seen.

“Micro-affirmations…small acts, which are often ephemeral and hard-to-see, events that are public and private, often unconscious but very effective, which occur wherever people wish to help others to succeed.”

Mary Rowe (2008)

On the other hand, micro-aggressions are subtle, often (but not always) unintentional sleights that make people feel marginalised and undermined.

You can spot them a mile off, yet their actions still hold power!

Doris, who constantly interrupts and then quickly apologise saying, “oh sorry, I thought you were done”, when you obviously weren’t!

Or Bob, who always announces, “the people police are here” quickly followed by “joke.. you don’t mind do you..” when he knows it’s upsetting, especially as you’re the one making sure your people are looked after (even if you wished Bob didn’t count)!

“Micro-inequities, whether hostile or completely accidental, provide polluted air and an unfair playing field for many people.”

Mary Rowe (2008)

It’s the difference between a dismissive glance and a warm greeting, a sarcastic remark or an inclusive conversation.

Micro-aggressions eat away at morale.

Whereas micro-inclusions build a foundation of trust and collaboration.

Which ones do you want in your organisation?

The Power of Micro-Inclusions

Micro-inclusions are essential for building a positive and inclusive workplace culture because they;

Promote psychological safety: When employees feel seen, heard, and respected, they are more likely to take risks, find solutions to problems, get creative and share their ideas. They’re also much less likely to burn out due to a toxic work environment!

Break down barriers: Small acts of inclusion can help to bridge divides and create a more connected and trusting team.

Boost confidence: Feeling valued and appreciated can boost employees’ self-esteem and motivation, making them both happier and more productive.

Spark creativity: A diverse and inclusive environment encourages innovation and problem-solving.

Build trust: Consistent micro-inclusions demonstrate that you care about creating a positive and respectful space for everyone.

“Microaffirmations may, in many circumstances, matter more to recipients than tangible rewards like money.”

Mary Rowe

My Top Tips for Sprinkling Some Micro-Magic

Smile!

Yep, a smile really is more than just a facial expression – it’s your most fabulous accessory and it really could change someone’s day for the better!

“A smile, a question, a listening ear: sometimes the smallest kindnesses have the biggest ripples.” 

Karen Salston

Use respectful language:

Be mindful of your words so everyone feels seen, respected and valued. If you make a mistake, own it and apologise. We’re all human. Remember that the dictionary is a record not a rule book. Language evolves and we need to evolve with it.

“By building and working towards having inclusive language in the workplace, we create a tapestry of understanding where every individual finds their rightful place, it’s the best way to say to employees “I see YOU.”

Suzan Elhajj, Operations Project Manager at Indeed

Show Genuine Interest in Others:

When you ask “how are you?”, wait for the reply and listen to your colleagues’ stories and experiences.

“When we listen and celebrate what is both common and different, we become a wiser, more inclusive, and better organization.”

Pat Wadors, Head of HR at LinkedIn

Use Positive Body Language:

Your non-verbal cues speak volumes, so ‘be’ open and accessible – face people, smile, look them in the eye (don’t fold your arms, tap your feet or turn away from them).

“Our mind is capable of detecting even the smallest hand and finger movements, and if gestures and motions are employed successfully during an utterance or discussion, they can enhance the transmission of information.”

Josh King Madrid

Celebrate Diversity and Difference:

Embrace the technicolour of all those beautifully varied and creative perspectives in your teams (rather than seeing them as unknown and provocative).

“Diversity, or the state of being different, isn’t the same as inclusion. One is a description of what is, while the other describes a style of interaction essential to effective teams and organizations.”

Bill Crawford, Psychologist

Accurate Pronunciation of Names:

Take the time to learn and correctly pronounce colleagues’ names. Seriously people, this small effort reflects a level of respect and consideration we are all worthy of.

“If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky, and Michelangelo, and Dostoevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.”

Uzo Aduba

Mix-Up Socials:

Break free from the standard ‘after-work beers’ routine and find somewhere that keeps everyone involved and able to participate.

Inclusive Lunches:

Ask about and provide diverse food choices, including vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, and allergy-friendly options at events, trainings or lunch meetings, so that everyone is comfortable and catered for. I, for one, know what it’s like to go hungry at these things and it’s really unpleasant!! Please remember to feed me!